Creativity

True confession time: A lot of my creativity comes from a place of being ashamed to ask for things. I made my own toys, my own clothes. Not that my parents didn't provide -- they did! At times they bought me things unsolicited so I could be more like a normal kid.

I went to the university that provided the full ride so I wouldn't be a burden on others or my future self. I drive used cars until they fall apart. My mobile phones are usually too out-of-date for someone who is working in my line of work. I can't buy hair dye without a coupon, even if it means changing shades of red.

Even today I struggle with replacing jeans or shoes that have completely worn out. I feel guilty for not taking better care of my things.

I'm writing this after looking at the poor tin cross on my wall. I bought it on clearance as-is. It was banged up and scratched and curled on the ends. I painted the scratches on the red heart with nail polish.

I want to want less but also want to be okay with wanting things. I create so that others can consume, but I owe it to others to consume, too.

Sigh

I gave a presentation to a group of college students.

I asked, "Do any of you blog?"

They all laughed at me.

I olde.